Eating

I'm going to be writing about something very close to my heart today. Sorry if it seems a bit to sappy or preachy.

When I turned twelve I developed an eating disorder. Why? Don't know. There are just so many reason.
I was a little chubby and my sister was uber skinny. I felt inferior next to her.
Also so many things were going on in my life beyond my control. I wanted to be able to control something, so I through this is something I can handle.
I am the second of five girls. Sometimes I can get overlooked. I wanted my family and others to notice me and to think I was pretty.
I was in rebellion. I wanted control so I took "control" of my weight. Basically I was saying to God, "You can control everything else in my life except this one thing." And then I focused only on my eating and nothing else that God would have wanted me to.
Some people made fun of me and others made gentle comment on how not to eat so much. Those comments hurt and I wanted to be good and pretty.

I had two fainting spells during my eating disorder. The first one happened when I got up in the morning to go to the bathroom. I was walking along and the next thing I new I couldn't see anything and I felt like someone was tossing me around. I waited a few seconds and then I opened my eyes and found I could see again. I was on the floor and I had fallen, hitting the sink and the door as I fell.

The second time I was talking to my sister and my vision started to go black and out of focus. The next thing I knew I was on the floor under my sisters desk. I had just missed hitting my head on the desk.

The world would often go black and I would get dizzy, but these were the only times I lost conciseness.

Girls are not the only ones to struggle with eating disorders. Two of my friend both males also had trouble with it. They were both on the wrestling team and to be at the top of their game they wanted to be the biggest in their class. I don't understand all the rules, but I do know that it is so easy to slip into,"I'll just lose a few more pound." "Okay just a little bit more." "I have almost got it, just a little bit more."

The Bible doesn't say much about eating disorders. You won't find those words in the Bible, but here are some verses that helped me.

1 Corinthians 10:31

³¹So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Do every thing for the glory of God. Even eat. That's heavy. Eating for the glory of God means you are not the center of attention. You are not thinking about yourself. You are thinking about God and what He wants. God wants the simple things in your life. Eating, sleeping, relationships, and so much more.

1 Samuel 16:7b

For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Thessalonian 5:22

²²Abstain from all appearance of evil.